When giving an apology, it may be best not to give an explanation of the wrong deed. It destroys the sincerity of the apology. Sometimes saying that you are sorry does not seem to make any difference to the offended, especially in the heat of the moment. However, if the saying holds true that time heals all wounds, the wounds heal faster when the offender has sincerely apologized. Certainly, apologies will not fix everything which is why opinions are divided about the use of apologies. Some people believe that apologizing is a sign of weakness while others feel that it is the magical cobbler’s tool for mending all torn shoes in the walk of life. Probably what is more accurate lies between these two extremes. It is good to remember that apology and forgiveness do not necessarily go hand –in-hand.
In romantic relationships, apologizing may be easier because it can be paired with a gift. This could come in any form. For some people, it may be something small as a chocolate, for others it might be an expensive jewelry. Everyone has heard about the glorious “make-up sex.” The spectrum of apologies is so wide in a romantic setting that it is surprising how lots of lovers reach the complicated status of “irreconcilable differences”. Maybe the results will be different if we all said “Please forgive me.” as spontaneously as we say “I love you.” Having said that, it is also wrong to abuse the privilege of apologizing. Nothing good comes out of being a frequent belaboring “apologizer”.
Saying sorry and doing the wrong deed over and over again shows insincerity. The person on the receiving end has no use for such apologies. On the other hand some people have found it useful to apologize when there is a misunderstanding even when they have done nothing wrong. When a greater value is placed on relationship than ego, apologizing becomes a small deal.
In the civil society, saying “sorry” may not count for much because apologies often come too late. To a large extent, no evil deed goes unpunished today once there is proof of wrong-doing. Generally, how an apology is perceived depends on who is apologizing. For some people, it comes across as meaningless blabbing . For some others it comes across as taking responsibility and seeking a change of behavior. Our duty as citizens of planet earth is to strive to belong to the second category. Without a change of behavior, an apology is a mere “insult upon an injury”.
© GBOLABO ADETUNJI/ AYOKA
“An apology can be a wonderful thing so long as it is infrequent and from the heart. However, beware of the person who justifies bad behavior with apologies. For them it is a means to an end, and quite often at your expense.”
― Gary Hopkins